God DOES answer prayers!!

Sorry for not updating sooner with the results....we just got back from San Diego today and Christian started school last week and he's going again tomorrow so I had all this stuff to take care of. But now, *exhale*, I'm back at my computer relaxing. ;)

We did a thorough ultrasound last Friday and the doctor said everything was fine! And the most fantastic part was that they're able to detect 90% of neural tube defects with an ultrasound so we didn't have to do the amnio!~ Thank you, God!~

I know that the chances of having an unhealthy child is super slim, even with a positive AFP result but, my goodness, when you're stuck in the middle of it, all you can do is focus on the "what if". And even though the "what if" might be small, if the "what if" actually happened, the effects of that is sooooo huge and devastating that you just can't help it.

But I'm so glad that part is over now and I can focus on bringing a healthy, beautiful baby into this world. =) During the ultrasound, the baby was crossing his/her legs so the doctor wasn't able to give me a definite answer on the sex. He said that he thinks that 80% it might be a girl! wtf?? I made him check about 5 times - literally. I kept saying, "oh look, there's the penis!" and he'd say, "no, it looks like a labia to me." lol... And then, i'd say it again, and then he'd say, "no, we're looking at the heart right now." hahaha...

My 20 week ultrasound checkup is tomorrow so we'll find out for sure what the sex of the baby is. But mannn...I really, really, can't picture myself being a mom to a girl. All I know is how to raise a boy - I am a mother of a boy. I have a son. I know Thomas Trains and legos and skulls and camos and sneakers and trucks. I have like 4 hugungous space saver vacuum sealed bags full of boys clothes waiting to be used by Christian's younger brother. I don't think a girl would look right in his old clothes...

(oh and lucy, i totally didn't even know that i could pay extra and get the results sooner! i wish i knew that when i did the amnio with christian! thanks for the info~~!)

AFP Test

Today my OB's office called with the result of my AFP blood test. I knew immediately when they called that it wasn't going to be good news. I had gone through this before during my pregnancy with Christian. Back then, they told me that my blood test indicated that my baby may be at risk for Down Syndrome (Low levels of AFP in the blood). This time, they called and told me that it was for Neural Tube Defects (High levels of AFP in the blood). I was disappointed when they told me that it wasn't for Downs. Because I know the chances of getting downs is so low and Christian came out okay at the end of it all.

This time, it's hitting me alot harder because Neural Tube Defects seem to be more common so of course it's scarier. From the beginning, this pregnancy has been "different" and I haven't felt good. And ever since I found out that I was pregnant, my worst fear of my 2nd child being unhealthy has been lingering in my mind - and now, this. It's like the 1st step to making my nightmare come true. I know the chances are relatively low and that (hopefully) things will be okay... but going through this again and having to possibly do another amniocentesis is torturing me to no end. Those 2 weeks after the amnio - waiting and waiting for the results - and all the "what if" scenarios playing out in your mind every night while you lie in bed or they'll randomly creep up on you from no where - when you're driving, doing the dishes or just watching tv. I don't know that I can handle the waiting game again.

My detailed ultrasound is tomorrow morning.

Please, God, please, please, please make this another false-positive result, please. And please don't make me have to go through another amnio - I really hated it the last time. Please let this baby be healthy - I don't know that I'm equipped to handle anything less than a healthy baby. Please, I'm begging you.

Polyp

So I went to see my doctor yesterday and she did an exam and found that I had a uterine polyp. She suspects that my body was trying to get rid of it hence the bleeding. So she removed it and I think I feel better. Just knowing that the baby is okay is a big relief. Whew! :)

Worried....

My spotting has increased to slight bleeding in the past few days with some mean cramps. Last night, a tiny, bloody clot came out (I know, TMI...but too bad). I'm so confused. Everything I read online says not to worry too much but my goodness, it's a bit alarming when you see something like that....especially when it's accompanied with constant cramping. Anyways, I finally called my doctor this morning and I have an appt this afternoon. Let's hope everything is fine and I'm just being a worrywart for nothing.

Bed Rest

I've been getting braxton hicks contractions for about 3 days now - continuously. With mild cramps that won't go away...plus lower back pains...oh and some light spotting (but i've been spotting since i first found out i was preggers). At first, I didn't think much of it...but I actually woke up in the middle of the night from the contractions so I decided to call my doctor this morning. She doesn't think it's anything too serious since I was just there for a checkup last week and the baby's heart rate was very good (165 bpm) but she recommended that I try to stay in bed for a few days. And then, if the cramping doesn't go away, to come in to check on the baby.

This pregnancy is so different from my first one..I don't know what to make of it. You'd better be a good little baby when you come out, kid. Cuz you makin' yo' mama suffer a whole lot right now.

DID YOU KNOW....

that balsamic vinegar has lead in it? And if you read the label, some of them say something like "Prop 65 - this product may contain lead, a chemical known to the State of California, to cause birth defects and other reproductive harm". WTF?

I was at Whole Foods looking for a new bottle of balsamic vinegar and saw this on several of the labels. Apparently, all of them contain lead. I got a little scared so I just ended up not buying any. =/

Baby

Conversation with Christian today as I'm lying down on the couch:

"Christian, do you want a Baby?"

"yAsh" with a big smile as he's playing on his train table.

"Do you love baby?"

"yAsh"

"Are you going to be nice to baby?"

"yAsh"

Yep...we're having a baby~! It's exciting and exhausting all at the same time. I'll go more into details in a little bit. Here's the continuation of our conversation -

"Do you want baby boy or baby girl?"

thinks about it.. and says, "beby guh-rl"

"Christian, where is baby?"

Points to my stomach and replies, "dere!"

"Can you give baby a kiss?"

Walks towards me and instead, pulls down my dress and points at my boobs and yells out, "boobies! boobies!...mommy boobies!" as he's trying to closely examine my nipple.

"Yes, love...those are mommy's boobies...now give baby a kiss"

He leans in and gives a sweet kiss on my stomach and smiles. =)


***************

3 more weeks and I'll be in my 2nd trimester... I don't remember the 1st trimester going by this fast the first time. Time seriously flies.

FAQs that ppl seem to ask when they find out I'm pregnant:
How do you feel? Are you excited?
Of course, it's exciting BUT I'm sooooo tired this time around, it's unbelievable. Just sitting upright is a task for me. In the mornings, I have maybe 3 hours of energy before I completely burn out for the day. Even a nap doesn't help.

Do you have morning sickness?
I did have a bad bout for about a week...I threw up some here and there, I had terrible, TERRIBLE acid reflux / heartburn, I'm suffering from both constipation & diarrhea... and mood swings are at FULL FORCE. I actually had a tinge of resentment towards this kid when I was at my peak of miserableness. I kept saying to Ben, "I don't like this pregnancy, Christian was such a good baby inside my belly - I didn't feel sick and I loooved being pregnant. I don't like this one so far."

Do you want a boy or a girl?
Even before I met Ben, I've always known I wanted 2 boys. Then, Ben said he wanted a girl so we decided we'd have 2 boys and 1 girl...in that order. Now, after raising a boy for 2 years, I'm kinda wanting a girl - to balance out all the testosterone in the family. BUT, I'm 99.5% sure that we're having a boy. I can just feel it - he's a boy. I see my future and I can't picture a girl - I picture 2 boys. I think I already have a boy name picked out. I did have a girl name picked out years ago, but I don't know that I love it anymore. But I'm not even going to look into girl names because I just know, this little miracle inside of me is a boy.

How far along are you?
I'm about 10 weeks. Baby is about 1 1/2 inches long. He's even already moving his little arm buds and legs. Christian went with me to the ultrasound and he saw everything. He insisted that he saw Baby's teeth and they were big. It's the most awesome feeling to experience this process with your child. Ben couldn't come with us because he couldn't skip out of work. So, I decided to record it on my little camera so he could watch the ultrasound on the computer. Unfortunately, dumbass me (i blame it on the pregnancy ... lack of oxygen to your brain = dumbass maneuvers) didn't push the button all the way to record and was holding a camera in front of the ultrasound screen for no reason at all. *sigh* At least Christian got to see it... =)