I got released from the hospital last night. The doctor sent me home with a Procardia prescription and orders to drink 3 liters of water a day plus bed rest. I'm gonna go see her on Thursday so she can continue to check my cervix and make sure it doesn't continue to dilate.
It feels so good to be home. Unfortunately, there's not much I'm allowed to do. I can sit up for meals at a table, I can get up to go to the bathroom and take a shower once a day. lol... I'll try to follow some of the rules but seriously, I can't just lay around the house and do nothing. It's driving me nuts.
I plan on picking up Christian from school this afternoon so I'm really excited about that. Unfortunately, I can't pick him up and he's been asking me to pick him up and sit on my lap and he wants to get all physical with me and there's nothing I can do. It breaks my heart. He's only this young, this size once. I want to just pick him up and hold him in my arms and have his head relaxed in the crook of my neck as I smell his hair.
Through this whole ordeal, I've realized how much I take things for granted and I'm learning I need to slow down a bit and just embrace this pregnancy and take care of my body before I can take care of everyone else.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
And her name is....
TROUBLE.
I just knew that this pregnancy was off a little...I just always had a feeling that something was not right. First, my early spotting and cramping to my abnormal AFP result. But thankfully, those were both resolved - polyp removal and false positive test result (yay!). And now, we come to another hurdle but I'm staying positive that things are going to be okay, just like the other incidences.
I've been in the hospital since Friday morning for preterm labor. I was having mild cramping on Tuesday with super barely-there mild spotting and thought nothing of it. Then Wednesday night, it got a little stronger. Thursday night, the cramping came between every 5 and 10 minutes and realized that I was having contractions. I didn't sleep. I just curled in a ball switching from left side to right side. Friday morning, I called the Dr.'s office - My doctor was out for the day so her partner saw me. She checked me, probed me, ultrasounded me - I was 1cm dilated and my cervix had thinned to about 1 inch when it should be around 3 to 4 inches at this stage, plus I was spotting and then there were the undeniable strong-ass contractions that were killing me every 7 -ish mins. She said I was to immediately go to the hospital (which is like a block away) and get admitted to the Labor & Delivery High Risk Unit - they were expecting me. She scolded me a little with a "I really wish you came in 2 days ago" remark. I felt dizzy, scared, holding back the tears afraid that if I started to cry, I wouldn't stop - instead, I had a constant lump in my throat and the contractions were keeping me busy.
I got to the hospital, they took me into triage - they put an IV thingy in me and put me on a fetal and contraction monitor. They immediately started me on antibiotics (in case the baby had any infections) and gave me 2 pills of procardia - some blood pressure medicine that also relieved the uterus from contracting. About 30 minutes later, I was put on a wheel chair with all my IV stuff and wheeled to the High Risk Unit. They gave me a steroid shot in my butt which was to help the baby's lungs and brain develop faster in case she had to be delivered early. The pills made me dizzy, light headed and nauseous. I hadn't eaten anything all morning so I began feeling queasy. On top of that, the dr had ordered me to be on a clear liquid diet (in case my contractions got worse and I had to deliver "trouble" via cesarean). I was so hungry and nauseous, my mouth began to fill up with saliva in huge amounts and I was gagging and spitting it out into a paper cup. I begged for crackers. The nurse convinced my doctor to just let me have solids and she said okay. After I ate, I felt much better.
I was in good spirits for awhile. Texted some friends, was chatting with the nurses. And after awhile, as I sat in my hospital room, hooked up to the IV and monitors, listening to my baby's heartbeat it started sinking in. She's only 24 weeks. Not even, actually she's only 23 weeks and 5 days. She can't come out now, are u kidding?? At that age, she has a 50% chance of dying and a 50% chance of being delivered. And most likely if she made it, she'd either end up dying or have long term damage if she survived. The doctor said she was only 1 lb and 6 oz. They wanted her to ideally be around 3 lbs before she came out so they were going to do whatever they could to delay the labor for as long as possible. The NICU was also prepared in case anything happened. You know, it's really nice and comforting to know that everyone is preparing ahead of time, "just in case", but it scared me more than anything because it made it that much more real.
The procardia seemed to work - my contractions disappeared for a full hour - I hadn't had a full hour of relief for almost a day so I was really happy. Then, it came back - not as often but it came back. I started feeling discouraged. But they said it takes awhile for the body to really accept the medicine so I stayed hopeful. They gave me another dose 6 hours later. It helped to reduce the contractions. But at evening time, I started feeling the contractions slowly creep back. When it was time for my next dose, they took my blood pressure and said it was too low 90/40? (a side effect of the drug) so they were going to hold off another hour. (ugh). I finally got my next dose and went to bed. Throughout the night, the nurse said I was getting contractions but luckily I didn't feel them.
This morning, the weekend on-call doctor and my perinatologist came and did a thorough ultrasound and gave me some good news. Baby was swimming in plenty of fluids so that meant no rupture of the membrane (yay!) and my cervix was found to be thicker than originally estimated. They measured it at 4.2cm (about 1.65 inches) instead of 1 inch. Not that much thicker but hey, I'll take what I can.
I just knew that this pregnancy was off a little...I just always had a feeling that something was not right. First, my early spotting and cramping to my abnormal AFP result. But thankfully, those were both resolved - polyp removal and false positive test result (yay!). And now, we come to another hurdle but I'm staying positive that things are going to be okay, just like the other incidences.
I've been in the hospital since Friday morning for preterm labor. I was having mild cramping on Tuesday with super barely-there mild spotting and thought nothing of it. Then Wednesday night, it got a little stronger. Thursday night, the cramping came between every 5 and 10 minutes and realized that I was having contractions. I didn't sleep. I just curled in a ball switching from left side to right side. Friday morning, I called the Dr.'s office - My doctor was out for the day so her partner saw me. She checked me, probed me, ultrasounded me - I was 1cm dilated and my cervix had thinned to about 1 inch when it should be around 3 to 4 inches at this stage, plus I was spotting and then there were the undeniable strong-ass contractions that were killing me every 7 -ish mins. She said I was to immediately go to the hospital (which is like a block away) and get admitted to the Labor & Delivery High Risk Unit - they were expecting me. She scolded me a little with a "I really wish you came in 2 days ago" remark. I felt dizzy, scared, holding back the tears afraid that if I started to cry, I wouldn't stop - instead, I had a constant lump in my throat and the contractions were keeping me busy.
I got to the hospital, they took me into triage - they put an IV thingy in me and put me on a fetal and contraction monitor. They immediately started me on antibiotics (in case the baby had any infections) and gave me 2 pills of procardia - some blood pressure medicine that also relieved the uterus from contracting. About 30 minutes later, I was put on a wheel chair with all my IV stuff and wheeled to the High Risk Unit. They gave me a steroid shot in my butt which was to help the baby's lungs and brain develop faster in case she had to be delivered early. The pills made me dizzy, light headed and nauseous. I hadn't eaten anything all morning so I began feeling queasy. On top of that, the dr had ordered me to be on a clear liquid diet (in case my contractions got worse and I had to deliver "trouble" via cesarean). I was so hungry and nauseous, my mouth began to fill up with saliva in huge amounts and I was gagging and spitting it out into a paper cup. I begged for crackers. The nurse convinced my doctor to just let me have solids and she said okay. After I ate, I felt much better.
I was in good spirits for awhile. Texted some friends, was chatting with the nurses. And after awhile, as I sat in my hospital room, hooked up to the IV and monitors, listening to my baby's heartbeat it started sinking in. She's only 24 weeks. Not even, actually she's only 23 weeks and 5 days. She can't come out now, are u kidding?? At that age, she has a 50% chance of dying and a 50% chance of being delivered. And most likely if she made it, she'd either end up dying or have long term damage if she survived. The doctor said she was only 1 lb and 6 oz. They wanted her to ideally be around 3 lbs before she came out so they were going to do whatever they could to delay the labor for as long as possible. The NICU was also prepared in case anything happened. You know, it's really nice and comforting to know that everyone is preparing ahead of time, "just in case", but it scared me more than anything because it made it that much more real.
The procardia seemed to work - my contractions disappeared for a full hour - I hadn't had a full hour of relief for almost a day so I was really happy. Then, it came back - not as often but it came back. I started feeling discouraged. But they said it takes awhile for the body to really accept the medicine so I stayed hopeful. They gave me another dose 6 hours later. It helped to reduce the contractions. But at evening time, I started feeling the contractions slowly creep back. When it was time for my next dose, they took my blood pressure and said it was too low 90/40? (a side effect of the drug) so they were going to hold off another hour. (ugh). I finally got my next dose and went to bed. Throughout the night, the nurse said I was getting contractions but luckily I didn't feel them.
This morning, the weekend on-call doctor and my perinatologist came and did a thorough ultrasound and gave me some good news. Baby was swimming in plenty of fluids so that meant no rupture of the membrane (yay!) and my cervix was found to be thicker than originally estimated. They measured it at 4.2cm (about 1.65 inches) instead of 1 inch. Not that much thicker but hey, I'll take what I can.
My body is responding well to the procardia - blood pressure is slowly stabilizing - probably cuz they lowered the dosage to every 8 hours instead of every 6. Significantly less contractions now. They took the fetal monitor off my stomach which is another good sign. I'll be here for another 24 to 48 hours under observation and continue to take the procardia and antibiotics.
Thanks to all my friends who have texted, emailed, called and visited me. Without you guys being there for me during this time, I don't think I'd be doing as well as I am. I feel so blessed being surrounded by my family and friends through this whole ordeal.
Trouble, my little baby... please don't tell me this is a taste of what's to come when you're actually out here in this world. I know you're really wanting to come out already and begin your mission to make your mommy suffer but, my love, you must first get bigger and healthier. So stay in there for 3+ more months. Just enjoy swimming around in mommy's uterus and I promise, I'll be a good mommy to you and take good care of you. I love you my daughter and I'm looking forward to the day I'll be holding you in your arms.
Friday, September 12, 2008
We're having a ....
GIRL!~ It's still not sinking in... I thought FOR SURE that I was having another boy. I would've bet our life savings on it. I'm still in...in.... shock? When I tell ppl, they say I don't sound excited. It's not that I'm not excited but I just wasn't expecting it and so I'm having a hard time shifting my mindset. This whole time, while I've been shopping online or at a store, I was looking at boys things, little infant boys things. And now, the thought of having to look through a bunch of little girls things is...well, a little overwhelming. There's so much to choose from.
Anyways... we're excited. Christian is going to have a little sister. I'm going to have a daughter. She's gonna be Ben's little girl. Now I need to come up with names...or maybe I'll give her one of the boys names I had picked out.
Anyways... we're excited. Christian is going to have a little sister. I'm going to have a daughter. She's gonna be Ben's little girl. Now I need to come up with names...or maybe I'll give her one of the boys names I had picked out.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
God DOES answer prayers!!
Sorry for not updating sooner with the results....we just got back from San Diego today and Christian started school last week and he's going again tomorrow so I had all this stuff to take care of. But now, *exhale*, I'm back at my computer relaxing. ;)
We did a thorough ultrasound last Friday and the doctor said everything was fine! And the most fantastic part was that they're able to detect 90% of neural tube defects with an ultrasound so we didn't have to do the amnio!~ Thank you, God!~
I know that the chances of having an unhealthy child is super slim, even with a positive AFP result but, my goodness, when you're stuck in the middle of it, all you can do is focus on the "what if". And even though the "what if" might be small, if the "what if" actually happened, the effects of that is sooooo huge and devastating that you just can't help it.
But I'm so glad that part is over now and I can focus on bringing a healthy, beautiful baby into this world. =) During the ultrasound, the baby was crossing his/her legs so the doctor wasn't able to give me a definite answer on the sex. He said that he thinks that 80% it might be a girl! wtf?? I made him check about 5 times - literally. I kept saying, "oh look, there's the penis!" and he'd say, "no, it looks like a labia to me." lol... And then, i'd say it again, and then he'd say, "no, we're looking at the heart right now." hahaha...
My 20 week ultrasound checkup is tomorrow so we'll find out for sure what the sex of the baby is. But mannn...I really, really, can't picture myself being a mom to a girl. All I know is how to raise a boy - I am a mother of a boy. I have a son. I know Thomas Trains and legos and skulls and camos and sneakers and trucks. I have like 4 hugungous space saver vacuum sealed bags full of boys clothes waiting to be used by Christian's younger brother. I don't think a girl would look right in his old clothes...
(oh and lucy, i totally didn't even know that i could pay extra and get the results sooner! i wish i knew that when i did the amnio with christian! thanks for the info~~!)
We did a thorough ultrasound last Friday and the doctor said everything was fine! And the most fantastic part was that they're able to detect 90% of neural tube defects with an ultrasound so we didn't have to do the amnio!~ Thank you, God!~
I know that the chances of having an unhealthy child is super slim, even with a positive AFP result but, my goodness, when you're stuck in the middle of it, all you can do is focus on the "what if". And even though the "what if" might be small, if the "what if" actually happened, the effects of that is sooooo huge and devastating that you just can't help it.
But I'm so glad that part is over now and I can focus on bringing a healthy, beautiful baby into this world. =) During the ultrasound, the baby was crossing his/her legs so the doctor wasn't able to give me a definite answer on the sex. He said that he thinks that 80% it might be a girl! wtf?? I made him check about 5 times - literally. I kept saying, "oh look, there's the penis!" and he'd say, "no, it looks like a labia to me." lol... And then, i'd say it again, and then he'd say, "no, we're looking at the heart right now." hahaha...
My 20 week ultrasound checkup is tomorrow so we'll find out for sure what the sex of the baby is. But mannn...I really, really, can't picture myself being a mom to a girl. All I know is how to raise a boy - I am a mother of a boy. I have a son. I know Thomas Trains and legos and skulls and camos and sneakers and trucks. I have like 4 hugungous space saver vacuum sealed bags full of boys clothes waiting to be used by Christian's younger brother. I don't think a girl would look right in his old clothes...
(oh and lucy, i totally didn't even know that i could pay extra and get the results sooner! i wish i knew that when i did the amnio with christian! thanks for the info~~!)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
AFP Test
Today my OB's office called with the result of my AFP blood test. I knew immediately when they called that it wasn't going to be good news. I had gone through this before during my pregnancy with Christian. Back then, they told me that my blood test indicated that my baby may be at risk for Down Syndrome (Low levels of AFP in the blood). This time, they called and told me that it was for Neural Tube Defects (High levels of AFP in the blood). I was disappointed when they told me that it wasn't for Downs. Because I know the chances of getting downs is so low and Christian came out okay at the end of it all.
This time, it's hitting me alot harder because Neural Tube Defects seem to be more common so of course it's scarier. From the beginning, this pregnancy has been "different" and I haven't felt good. And ever since I found out that I was pregnant, my worst fear of my 2nd child being unhealthy has been lingering in my mind - and now, this. It's like the 1st step to making my nightmare come true. I know the chances are relatively low and that (hopefully) things will be okay... but going through this again and having to possibly do another amniocentesis is torturing me to no end. Those 2 weeks after the amnio - waiting and waiting for the results - and all the "what if" scenarios playing out in your mind every night while you lie in bed or they'll randomly creep up on you from no where - when you're driving, doing the dishes or just watching tv. I don't know that I can handle the waiting game again.
My detailed ultrasound is tomorrow morning.
Please, God, please, please, please make this another false-positive result, please. And please don't make me have to go through another amnio - I really hated it the last time. Please let this baby be healthy - I don't know that I'm equipped to handle anything less than a healthy baby. Please, I'm begging you.
This time, it's hitting me alot harder because Neural Tube Defects seem to be more common so of course it's scarier. From the beginning, this pregnancy has been "different" and I haven't felt good. And ever since I found out that I was pregnant, my worst fear of my 2nd child being unhealthy has been lingering in my mind - and now, this. It's like the 1st step to making my nightmare come true. I know the chances are relatively low and that (hopefully) things will be okay... but going through this again and having to possibly do another amniocentesis is torturing me to no end. Those 2 weeks after the amnio - waiting and waiting for the results - and all the "what if" scenarios playing out in your mind every night while you lie in bed or they'll randomly creep up on you from no where - when you're driving, doing the dishes or just watching tv. I don't know that I can handle the waiting game again.
My detailed ultrasound is tomorrow morning.
Please, God, please, please, please make this another false-positive result, please. And please don't make me have to go through another amnio - I really hated it the last time. Please let this baby be healthy - I don't know that I'm equipped to handle anything less than a healthy baby. Please, I'm begging you.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Polyp
So I went to see my doctor yesterday and she did an exam and found that I had a uterine polyp. She suspects that my body was trying to get rid of it hence the bleeding. So she removed it and I think I feel better. Just knowing that the baby is okay is a big relief. Whew! :)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Worried....
My spotting has increased to slight bleeding in the past few days with some mean cramps. Last night, a tiny, bloody clot came out (I know, TMI...but too bad). I'm so confused. Everything I read online says not to worry too much but my goodness, it's a bit alarming when you see something like that....especially when it's accompanied with constant cramping. Anyways, I finally called my doctor this morning and I have an appt this afternoon. Let's hope everything is fine and I'm just being a worrywart for nothing.
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