Goodbye Xanga, Hello Blogger

I've finally decided to migrate over to a new blog. Xanga was a little too "social" and I wanted a place where I can just dump my thoughts and not be in a circle of xangans writing about their drunken weekend of partying. I guess b/c that part of my life is over now. So... Goodbye Xanga and Hello Blogger!~
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It's been 10 days since I've given birth to my adorable baby boy. Labor was the most physically intense and challenging feat I have ever experienced. 19+ hours of excruciating pain - even with the 7 epidural shots, the pain killer injected in my IV that made me hallucinate, and the narcotics / spinal block that was shot in 4 or 5 different areas up and down my spine. Nothing seemed to stop the pain. It was absolutely horrible. Finally, after 3 hours of pushing my brains out, they said the baby's heart beat was rising too fast and that they had to do a vacuum extraction. Geesh, I wish they just did the extraction to begin with - and out came our baby.

Before I went into labor, I had secret fears that I might be grossed out when I saw my baby come out of me - all bloody and yucky and that I might not "bond" with him. Well, I was right. Not b/c he was all bloody and yucky...but b/c I was soooooo tired. I don't think I even held him. Ben held him, told me how proud he was of me, kissed me on my forehead and even cried a little. It was beautiful to see Ben look so proudly at his new son. I, on the other hand was too tired to do anything and asked Ben to ask that they bring the baby to me when they were finished cleaning him up and that I wanted him only for feedings because I wanted to get some sleep. He was born at 9:56 pm and they brought him to me at 3am for feeding. This was the first time I got to look at him up close and as he latched on to my breast and I looked down at his face, I gasped in awe...and I fell in love. I looked at his face, his feet, his hair, his ears and I began seeing parts of me and Ben in him and it was amazing. Wow, this little thing came out of me? Ben and I created this thing? I thanked God. Even though I was dead tired, in excruciating pain and even needed assistance to go to the bathroom, I changed my mind about taking him only for feedings so I told the nurse I had decided he was going to room in with me. Here are some pictures of our baby boy, Christian.



He's such a cutie pie!~ ^_^