PHOTOS

Happy 2008!~ Sorry for the lack of posts (I'm always apologizing, aren't I?). I can't believe that Christian is already turning 2 in less than 4 months!~ Time sure flies when you're having fun. Seriously, WhereTF did 2007 go??

Life's been pretty hectic here. Ben started a new job so he's hardly home. I'm still trying to get used to being a stay at home mom (which, really, I don't think I'm cut out for it - I miss working. But then I don't want to work and miss Christian all day and plus, we're planning on having another baby soon so what's the point of working other than the fact that we could use the extra income but then I'd have to spend that money on daycare. So I'd be working to send him to daycare so that I could work.) *sigh* My mom always says that if you can afford not to work, even if you have to sacrifice some luxuries, it's worth it for your child. But sometimes, I miss the stress of work. Emails, conference calls, meetings, proposals, deadlines. I thrive on that kind of stuff.

Nowadays, my day starts off with changing Christian's diaper which sometimes takes about 30 minutes because he hates diaper changes and I tell him we can't start the day without doing a diaper change and so I won't let him out of his crib and if I try to take him out before he's ready to change his diaper, he'll kick and scream and then I'll kick and scream and then I'm in a pissy mood because I want everything to go smoothly so why can't you just let me change your filthy diaper so we can go on with our lives already because I'd really like to get out of the house with you after feeding you breakfast, washing you up, brushing your teeth, rechanging your diaper, changing you out of your pajamas and into a cute little outfit so we can go to Target to buy some crap we need for you or the house and then make a stop at Whole Foods to buy all your organic milk, cheese, bread, eggs, yogurt, fruits and vegetables and then get home in time to put the groceries away which I have to carry while you like to defy me by not walking into the elevator because you'd rather play with mommy's car alarm but I need to get all these perishable groceries into the refrigerator. So I have 4 plastic bags of groceries and a large purse in one arm and then I have to pick you up and carry you with a sippy cup in the other arm and then get to our front door, put you down, put the groceries down, get my house key which you insist on taking so that you can open the door yourself and really, I'm all for you being independent and learning and shit like that but please, can I just open the door so we can put the groceries away and I can wash your hands which you for whatever reason HATE to do so you end up screaming and not standing up on the step stool that I pull up to the kitchen sink so you go limp and then I have to hold half your body with one arm and then use the other to wash your hands that you're pulling away from me - all so that I can feed you lunch by noon while you watch the Noggin channel and then rewash your hands again after we've finished lunch because you like to poke your food with the fork and then grab it off the fork with your bare hands and then shove the food in your mouth and then I have to change your diaper again, put on some fresh clothes because the ones you were wearing got dirty from your little lunch fiasco and then get your bottle of milk ready and warmed up to feed you by 1pm and then I put you down in your crib and you go off to dreamland for 3 hours. if I'm lucky. During that time, I pick up all the food crumbs and pieces of chicken, broccoli, rice porridge off the floor, wipe it down, get to the high chair, take off the tray top, clean up the chair itself because it's got food stuck all over it, grab all the dishes from the dining table, put it all in the kitchen sink and start doing all the dishes that accumulated from breakfast until now all the while I'm thinking how the hell does one little kid produce so many dishes and I haven't even eaten yet! Then I go on the computer and check emails and then omg, it's already 2? So I start cleaning because ever since I've had Christian, all of the sudden, I'm the biggest germaphobe and I need to have everything sterilized. Sterile, sterile, sterile! Kitchen counters, kitchen floors, wood floors, door knobs, play area, toys, remote controls. I swiffer the floors. I steam the floors. Look at the time. Crap! It's 3! Jump in the shower. Clean myself, clean the bathroom because Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are fucking awesome when you're in the shower, just keep a Magic Eraser sponge in there and wipe down the tub and tiles, rinse and voila, all sparkling clean! Dry myself. Try to moisturize. Get dressed. Look at the time. 3:30. Think to myself, okay...I have some time. Let me just lie down for 30 mins before he wakes up. As soon as I lie down, close my eyes, and I'm about to drift into sleep, the sound of Christian wimpering or making some sort of sound just hits me like nails to a chalkboard. FACKKK. Please God, just 15 minutes, please? I just want to lie down and rest. Please? No? I can't? He's calling for me? Can't he just wait? He might have a poopie diaper? It's okay, his butt won't rash up too bad, will it? Okay, okay...fineeee...I'll go get him! Go into his room, take one look at his adorable "I-just-woke-up-so-my-eyes-are-all-puffy" face and melt. Hello Sweetie, did you have a nice nap, love? Are you ready to change your diaper? No? Then you know the drill. We're not doing anything until we change your diaper so it's your call. Stop crying. You know the drill. Yes, I know you are grunting and pointing to go outside to the living room. But no, not until you're ready to change your diaper. You want a cracker? Okay, we'll have a cracker AFTER we change your diaper. You pooped. I can smell it. PeeYooo! STINKY!~ Let's change your diaper, okay? Stop crying. Christian! No. We have to change your diaper first! NO! CHANGE. YOUR. DIAPERRR!!!! Christian, mommy is getting MAD. Is this how you want to start off after your nap?? Stop it. We're changing your diaper...NOW. Here, play with this toy. Christian, don't throw it onto the floor! ARGHHH. How about froggy puppet? Will you let froggy puppet change your diaper? Yes? Okay, let mommy put on the puppet and then we'll have froggy change your diaper. Here we go. Taking off the diaper, wiping you down with 20 wipes because mommy can't stand the thought of any residual poop left on your behind. Put on a fresh diaper. Put your pants back on. Whew. That only took 20 minutes. Okay, let's go get you your juice and snack. Sweetie, I need to put you down so mommy can grab a new sippy cup and add your 1 oz of pear juice to 6 oz of water concoction in it and then get a lid and a straw. No? You don't want to be put down? Fine...let me just kill my back trying to carry all 25 lbs of you and goodness you're only 25 lbs, why do you feel like you weigh 50? while I bend down into the fridge and get your juice ready. Okay, here's your juice. Can you go now and play so I can get your snack ready? Yes, I'm getting your "nana" (banana). Stop getting upset. You're gonna get it in a few seconds. Here- here's a cracker. Eat this. Leave the kitchen now so I can get your stinking bananas, pear and cheese into a little plate so you can eat it in your high chair. Okay. Ready. Lift you up. Get you in. Here you go. Eat. My gawd, it's already 4:45. Where does the time go? Okay sweetie, let's wash your hands cuz you've got mush all over it from your snack. And by this time, it's getting dark. And did I tell you that I totally suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder aka SAD? As soon as the sun goes down, I'm sad. I feel alone. It's at that time, I suddenly feel like a single mother because I know that Ben won't be home for at least another couple of hours...a couple of very looooong hours and by the time he gets home, soon after, it's time for Christian to go to sleep. So after his snack, we try to play. But I'm so burnt out, I don't feel like doing anything. Christian's begging for me to turn on the tv cuz he's bored and I try to hold out as long as I can. Usually til about 5:30. Then, reluctantly, I turn on the tv and let him watch one of his little movies - Ratatouille, Nemo, Open Season, Madagascar, Ice Age, etc. Then all of the sudden...peace and quiet. He knows when I'm about to turn on a movie so he climbs up on the couch, lets out a sigh, puts a big content smile on his face, puts one arm up on the arm rest, leans back into a pillow and waits in anticipation as I slip in a dvd. Then he zones out. And that's when all of the sudden, I feel like a failure because I should be teaching him his abcs, his 123s, reading a book, spending quality time with him, taking him out to the park to burn some energy.... but I've failed. I've resorted to turning on the tv. The one thing that as I read all these parenting articles, they all say is not good. They say it delays language development. That it doesn't really help them intellectually like this article states. So I say to myself, okay, starting tomorrow. No. more. TV. ..... Shyeah right! Then 6pm rolls around and it's dinner time for him. Get his food ready. Warm everything up. Wash his hands again (yes, I told you...i'm a BIG GERMAPHOBE). and he eats or I spoon feed him his porridge while he tries to shove turkey loaf into his mouth. And I drink. Wine. Lots of it. And he makes a mess. And then he's finally done. Leave the mess of food all over the floor & table to go change his diaper again. Plop him down on the couch to continue watching his movie. Clean up the mess. Then Ben comes home. FINALLY! YAY! Then I go to the computer and zone out. Ben turns the TV off and plays with Christian. Christian comes alive when he sees his daddy. They play. They giggle. They run around the house. And I sit. In front of the computer with my glass of wine.

There are certain "sounds" that make me feel at home or relaxes me. The sound of dishes and utensils cling clanging in the kitchen. The sound of wine pouring into a glass. The sound of Ben emptying his pockets when he gets home - loose change, taking off his watch, pulling out his cell phone off the clip, pulling out his wallet. And the sound of Christian and his daddy running around, laughing and giggling is absolute music to my ears. And so Ben gives Christian a bath, they play, they giggle some more. Then he puts on a fresh pair of cute jammies. Ben warms up the milk. They read a book (Christian loves all the Karen Katz book series) and then they come over to the computer area so Christian can give me a kiss. And you hear him puckering all the way from his room and he has this adorable grin on his face as they make their way to me and he leans in and goes "mmmm-mwa!" and gives me a wonderful kiss and then they go to the kitchen, get the milk and Ben puts him to bed.

So that's a typical day here at the Ahn household. Some days are more pleasant than others. Yes, I have a nanny who comes 3 times a week to help me out. And you would think those days are the days I have "off". But, not really. Those are the days I'll shower in the morning instead of during his nap. But then I'm out of the house all day - running errands, doing some shopping for the house or the family and then I go to the grocery store, get home and start making dinner. Seriously, I don't understand how our moms worked and always managed to have a home cooked meal ready for everyone at the end of the day. And then clean up after the whole family.

Anyways. I wasn't planning on rambling the way I just did. I just wanted to post some pics of my cutie pie and then I guess I had some mental diarrhea seep out.

So, without further ado... Here are some random pics of my little spark plug. ^_^

At the park...in deep thought.



Wearing mismatched jammies...

Wearing FOBalicious PJ's from Korea with equally FOBalicious house slippers that I found in Ktown. But oh-so-cute, right?



His first Pony Ride...


The corn dropped on the floor but he was crying so hard for it, I think I actually gave it back to him. He loooooooves corn. He'll eat the whole cob and then some.


Playing at the putting green with Grandpa Stu at the Country Club near Ben's parents house.


Posing for the camera in his new red cap. He loooves hats and has a whole collection of beanies, caps, visors, etc.


Again, posing for the camera in his new Paul Frank Pimp Hat that he got from his Auntie Cindy for Christmas.


Whenever we'd go somewhere and see kids in a red wagon, he'd stare at them with envious eyes. So, we finally bought him one for Christmas and he looooves it.


Doing "Sae Bae" on New Year's.

Such a little ham...

K, that's all folks...for now. I promise. I'll try to update more.

xoxo~