Today my OB's office called with the result of my AFP blood test. I knew immediately when they called that it wasn't going to be good news. I had gone through this before during my pregnancy with Christian. Back then, they told me that my blood test indicated that my baby may be at risk for Down Syndrome (Low levels of AFP in the blood). This time, they called and told me that it was for Neural Tube Defects (High levels of AFP in the blood). I was disappointed when they told me that it wasn't for Downs. Because I know the chances of getting downs is so low and Christian came out okay at the end of it all.
This time, it's hitting me alot harder because Neural Tube Defects seem to be more common so of course it's scarier. From the beginning, this pregnancy has been "different" and I haven't felt good. And ever since I found out that I was pregnant, my worst fear of my 2nd child being unhealthy has been lingering in my mind - and now, this. It's like the 1st step to making my nightmare come true. I know the chances are relatively low and that (hopefully) things will be okay... but going through this again and having to possibly do another amniocentesis is torturing me to no end. Those 2 weeks after the amnio - waiting and waiting for the results - and all the "what if" scenarios playing out in your mind every night while you lie in bed or they'll randomly creep up on you from no where - when you're driving, doing the dishes or just watching tv. I don't know that I can handle the waiting game again.
My detailed ultrasound is tomorrow morning.
Please, God, please, please, please make this another false-positive result, please. And please don't make me have to go through another amnio - I really hated it the last time. Please let this baby be healthy - I don't know that I'm equipped to handle anything less than a healthy baby. Please, I'm begging you.
5 comments:
how are you sue? i just got the chills reading this ... i'm hoping good? you seemed ok when i saw you for 2 secs on saturday? oh i hope you're doing ok. on a happier note, i'm in love w/christian. he is the sweetest cutest little boy ... he kept chasing sadie and then coming up to me. you raised a good boy =)
Hey Kat~
Aww...thanks for your sweet comment about Christian. He really is a sweet boy - takes after his father. =D
I'm better! Updated post to follow...
argh, i hate how all these tests are so inaccurate! So many of my friends have had their genetic tests come out positive which required further testing. I know how hard it must be playing out the what if's but keep positive. Remember that there is a high false positive rate. The AFP is super inaccurate. Also, I know how awful the 2 weeks can be waiting for the results, so why not save yourself the stress and pay extra to get the results quicker. I think it's worth it so you can just know sooner better than later. That way you'll know in 3 days rather than a grueling 2 weeks! You'll also be able to know if it's a boy or girl early on :) Keep me posted.
I just saw the date and you had your detailed ultrasound already. what happened?
i need to check on your blog more often...so is everything ok??? i also heard that the afp test is not reliable and has a high percentage of false-positive which sucks b/c it just stresses us out!! i'm sure everything will be okay and she'll be a strong, healthy baby. =)
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