Saturday, October 11, 2008

And her name is....

TROUBLE.

I just knew that this pregnancy was off a little...I just always had a feeling that something was not right. First, my early spotting and cramping to my abnormal AFP result. But thankfully, those were both resolved - polyp removal and false positive test result (yay!). And now, we come to another hurdle but I'm staying positive that things are going to be okay, just like the other incidences.

I've been in the hospital since Friday morning for preterm labor. I was having mild cramping on Tuesday with super barely-there mild spotting and thought nothing of it. Then Wednesday night, it got a little stronger. Thursday night, the cramping came between every 5 and 10 minutes and realized that I was having contractions. I didn't sleep. I just curled in a ball switching from left side to right side. Friday morning, I called the Dr.'s office - My doctor was out for the day so her partner saw me. She checked me, probed me, ultrasounded me - I was 1cm dilated and my cervix had thinned to about 1 inch when it should be around 3 to 4 inches at this stage, plus I was spotting and then there were the undeniable strong-ass contractions that were killing me every 7 -ish mins. She said I was to immediately go to the hospital (which is like a block away) and get admitted to the Labor & Delivery High Risk Unit - they were expecting me. She scolded me a little with a "I really wish you came in 2 days ago" remark. I felt dizzy, scared, holding back the tears afraid that if I started to cry, I wouldn't stop - instead, I had a constant lump in my throat and the contractions were keeping me busy.

I got to the hospital, they took me into triage - they put an IV thingy in me and put me on a fetal and contraction monitor. They immediately started me on antibiotics (in case the baby had any infections) and gave me 2 pills of procardia - some blood pressure medicine that also relieved the uterus from contracting. About 30 minutes later, I was put on a wheel chair with all my IV stuff and wheeled to the High Risk Unit. They gave me a steroid shot in my butt which was to help the baby's lungs and brain develop faster in case she had to be delivered early. The pills made me dizzy, light headed and nauseous. I hadn't eaten anything all morning so I began feeling queasy. On top of that, the dr had ordered me to be on a clear liquid diet (in case my contractions got worse and I had to deliver "trouble" via cesarean). I was so hungry and nauseous, my mouth began to fill up with saliva in huge amounts and I was gagging and spitting it out into a paper cup. I begged for crackers. The nurse convinced my doctor to just let me have solids and she said okay. After I ate, I felt much better.

I was in good spirits for awhile. Texted some friends, was chatting with the nurses. And after awhile, as I sat in my hospital room, hooked up to the IV and monitors, listening to my baby's heartbeat it started sinking in. She's only 24 weeks. Not even, actually she's only 23 weeks and 5 days. She can't come out now, are u kidding?? At that age, she has a 50% chance of dying and a 50% chance of being delivered. And most likely if she made it, she'd either end up dying or have long term damage if she survived. The doctor said she was only 1 lb and 6 oz. They wanted her to ideally be around 3 lbs before she came out so they were going to do whatever they could to delay the labor for as long as possible. The NICU was also prepared in case anything happened. You know, it's really nice and comforting to know that everyone is preparing ahead of time, "just in case", but it scared me more than anything because it made it that much more real.



The procardia seemed to work - my contractions disappeared for a full hour - I hadn't had a full hour of relief for almost a day so I was really happy. Then, it came back - not as often but it came back. I started feeling discouraged. But they said it takes awhile for the body to really accept the medicine so I stayed hopeful. They gave me another dose 6 hours later. It helped to reduce the contractions. But at evening time, I started feeling the contractions slowly creep back. When it was time for my next dose, they took my blood pressure and said it was too low 90/40? (a side effect of the drug) so they were going to hold off another hour. (ugh). I finally got my next dose and went to bed. Throughout the night, the nurse said I was getting contractions but luckily I didn't feel them.


This morning, the weekend on-call doctor and my perinatologist came and did a thorough ultrasound and gave me some good news. Baby was swimming in plenty of fluids so that meant no rupture of the membrane (yay!) and my cervix was found to be thicker than originally estimated. They measured it at 4.2cm (about 1.65 inches) instead of 1 inch. Not that much thicker but hey, I'll take what I can.

My body is responding well to the procardia - blood pressure is slowly stabilizing - probably cuz they lowered the dosage to every 8 hours instead of every 6. Significantly less contractions now. They took the fetal monitor off my stomach which is another good sign. I'll be here for another 24 to 48 hours under observation and continue to take the procardia and antibiotics.

Thanks to all my friends who have texted, emailed, called and visited me. Without you guys being there for me during this time, I don't think I'd be doing as well as I am. I feel so blessed being surrounded by my family and friends through this whole ordeal.

Trouble, my little baby... please don't tell me this is a taste of what's to come when you're actually out here in this world. I know you're really wanting to come out already and begin your mission to make your mommy suffer but, my love, you must first get bigger and healthier. So stay in there for 3+ more months. Just enjoy swimming around in mommy's uterus and I promise, I'll be a good mommy to you and take good care of you. I love you my daughter and I'm looking forward to the day I'll be holding you in your arms.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

dearest sue ... when i heard what you were going through, i teared up and you and ben have been in our thoughts so i'm somewhat relieved to hear that you & little baby girl ahn have stabilized. please be well sue and give our best to ben ... you're so strong and staying positive. hang in there momma ... i'm thinking only the best of best of thoughts. love you! kat

Anonymous said...

sue! oh my...talking to you didn't make me as emotional reading this entry! i am tearing and thinking "oh my, what if??" you are such a fighter and so brave bc of all of this and i hope baby stays in there til she's healthy and ready to see the world. love you lots!!!!

lucy said...

oh my gosh! you are amazing for staying so positive and strong! Like the 2 other incidences, this one will be resolved as well and you'll have the a beautiful, healthy little girl. Your family and friends are your cheerleaders and support so... "rah rah rah, lil trouble, please stay inside!" and we will see you soon, but not too soon :)