Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dude...I just reread what I wrote last night and how depressing and sad was I??  I'm much better today.  I think I've just been REALLY. BURNT. OUT.  My nanny came over today to help me out even though she already came on Tuesday (she usually only comes once a week) and I was able to somewhat relax. It was still chaos here but having an extra pair of hands ALWAYS makes a difference so I was able to have *some* time to myself.  So I've been in a good mood.  And Lauren hasn't thrown up.  But nanny's gone now.  Thus, back to reality~~

Someday...One day, when I'm ready, I shall write about the aftermath of Lauren's birth and the help I've sought and what I've learned so far from all of it because I know there are some preemie moms who search the internet and end up coming to my site.  But I'm still processing what's happened. I'm still chewing and chewing and trying to swallow everything that's happening and I'll tell ya, it's one tough piece of meat to digest.  And who knows what kind of shit's gonna come outta the other end.  =/

xoxo~

3 comments:

Korean Cuisine said...

i totally understand what you're saying. my blog sometimes gets dark as well, but honestly...i'm such a happy person in every day life. lol. i just use my blog to vent sometimes.

sue said...

eeexactly!! thanks for understanding! ;) hope you're well! xoxo~~

kathyekwon said...

sue i JUST read these 2 entries and i gotta tell you, although you feel all crazy and alone, i'm pretty sure what you're feeling is normal. i have dark periods too where i feel like my family would be better off without me - i feel like i'm too hard on sadie or negative energy or whatever - and then the mood lifts and then i'm like wth was i thinking? no matter what, i gotta be there for my kids and that they need me, crazy or not. we ALL have those days ... of course not all of us have gone through what you have w/little lauren but we each have our own personal battles. just know at the end of the day, you ARE an amazing mommy. and that is for sure!