Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas Eve 2006

Dear Christian,

Tonight is Christmas Eve. We went to your grandfather's cousin, Daisy's house to spend the day with family. You played with your cousin Caius and your grandparents and sang Christmas Carols and we all had a good time. You've been sick with strep throat the past few days but that hasn't stopped you from being your goofy self. Crawling around, pulling yourself up with whatever furniture you can - then letting to go to see if you can balance only to find yourself flat on your cute little round butt.

Here is a picture of you and Caius. He had a bowl of crackers that you kept snatching from him. You probably get that from mommy - you bully.

When we got home tonight, you took a bath, put on your pjs and as you were nursing, you let out a big fart and we both laughed.

What I'll remember most about this Christmas Eve is the way you were in my arms with your head resting against my chest in your dimly lit nursery. As I was about to put you down in your crib for the night, you lifted your head up to look at me and gave me the sweetest kiss and rested your head back against my chest. So I held you for awhile longer - to soak up the moment. That was the best Christmas gift I could have ever asked for. Thank you my baby. You bring more joy than I have ever known. I am so proud to be your mommy. I love you.

Thursday, October 26, 2006


No, this isn't a's a furry bear suit that Christian will be wearing when we go pick out a Christmas Tree!~

But I had him try it on to make sure it fit him...

Don't say I didn't tell you so...

Absolutely frickin' ADORABLE!

To see even more cuteness in this video of Christian at a wedding we went to a few weeks ago. I'm still trying to learn how to put streaming videos on my blog - I'm using a beta version of Blogger so it seems like they haven't gotten the kinks out of that option yet. So, in the meantime... click here and enjoy:

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I have a few minutes before my little monster wakes up from his nap....

I was in the bathroom reading my Parenting magazine and there was this article that a mom had written about the value of slowing down to your child's pace (because in this modern age, everything seems to be about how quickly we can get things done). She writes, "An hour with a small child can drag like a whole day, and a day can feel like a week. But the weeks melt into months just like that."

So very true. I can't believe Christian's going to be 6 months soon. He's ready to eat his first solid meal. It's scary and exciting. There are so many "firsts" that he'll be experiencing and I love that I get to be a part of them. My little munchkin is growing up so fast!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

BabyLegs are legwarmers for babies. They make diaper changing a cinch and keep your baby's legs warm since you don't have to take any pants off.

Since winter is just around the corner, I ordered them for Christian. Aren't they adorable?! And, I think they'll be great for when he's crawling around to protect his precious little knees.

The new Double Bag by Yves Saint Laurent
Fashion Week Daily reports:

"The dual handle, fully reversible bag is accessorized with a few rings of gilded metal, closed by a leather thong which can be reattached to either side of the bag, and enhanced by a wide over sewn Y-shaped seam in gradient shades. Made of smooth Indian leather from Madras, known as Mercurio, the skin is tanned with chrome and then coated with a metallic leaf to achieve the anthracite or bronzed effect."

Ben bought it for me on my birthday to use as a diaper bag. I must say, I love it. The leather is soft and the purse is extremely light. And the best part is it's reversible! I got the black / anthracite. The picture shown above is the Brown / Bronze.

Here's a pic of my favorite celebrity mom Gwen Stefani toting around her son Kingston James and her YSL Double Bag...

But keeping things organized in your purse is a challenge. Especially when you're mixing up your makeup bag, teething rings, burp cloths, cell phone and wallet. So, I got me a purse organizer from Purseket.
I got the medium size one but I think I need the large so I'll be ordering another one this week.

Tuesday, August 1, 2006


not in the mood to write but i want to keep this blog up so i can look back at it and view pics of christian as he's growing up. I take pics of him and then dump the files onto my computer by month. so without further ado, here are pics from July... btw, Happy 3 months Christian!~

Noah and Christian - Playdate #2

Playdate #3 - Pardon mah French but,
they're so effin cute, it's unfricken believable.

Christian sleeping - sporting his new Baby L.A.M.B. shoes~

Tummy Time with his "Boob Man" trucker hat

Wearing his little onesie that his Auntie Cindy bought him.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Dear Christian...

Dear Christian,

You are sleeping right now on mommy and daddy's bed. You seem to love sleeping there - more than your crib. Something about the bed makes you feel more comfortable and relaxed. I'm a little concerned though, that you'll never like sleeping in your crib as much as you like sleeping in our bed. I hope I'm not encouraging a bad habit by letting you sleep there.

You exhausted mommy today. You only took 3 naps that were less than an hour each. Everytime, you would wake up crying and even though I held you and tried to comfort you, it didn't help. Finally, mommy got so fed up, she started screaming in your ear. You stopped crying. But as soon as mommy stopped screaming, you started crying again. This gave mommy the idea to turn on the vacuum. As soon as you heard the loud sound of the vacuum, you stopped crying again and you actually started "caa-ing and coo-ing". So mommy left the vacuum on and ran to the computer to find a "white noise" cd on She found one - "The Happiest Baby Super-Soothin Calming Sounds CD" and ordered it. Mommy really really hopes that this will help you sleep better. If you don't give mommy a break soon, she's gonna end up going bald before she's 30 because she's gonna end up pulling all of her hair out. Please be a good son and let mommy have just 1 hour a day to herself. Just ONE HOUR. PULEEZ! =)

Tonight, while mommy was trying to put you to sleep, mommy was caressing your chubby cheeks, trying to restyle your 40-year old man's perfectly coifed hair, and just admiring your overall cuteness - the house was quiet and the only sounds that were audible were the sounds of you breathing and the air conditioner humming. She stared at you, in awe. The fact that you were in mommy's womb 10 1/2 weeks ago - kicking, hiccupping, fidgeting - it amazes her. She was staring at your precious face and realizing that one day, you too would be an adult. You will also endure hardships, learn to know what it feels to love, and hurt, and wonder - to know what it feels to have a child of your own - the pure joy, the fear, the anxiety, the worries. Will you turn out to be okay? Or will mommy's demented disfunctional habits cause you to be as screwed up as she is? Will you blame her when things are bad or will you learn from mommy's mistakes and be gentle and kind and instead, love her for her crazy flaws? Tonight, she got a glimpse of you, being an old soul. Realizing, that holy shit, you too, one day, will be an old dude with these types of thoughts - all the while, mommy will probably either be really old and traveling the world with daddy or dead in her dusty, unvisited, forgotten grave. Either way, mommy wants you to know that she loves you and she thanks you for opening her eyes to a new life - a life where you come first and mommy comes last - but in a good way. Thank you for showing mommy that there are more important things to life than what she's been used to. I love you, my baby. Please forgive me for all the mistakes I've made in the past and the ones I'll likely make in the future. And know that mommy will try her best to rear you in the right direction and make your childhood a pleasant and happy one.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

BFFs *~*~*~*

Christian had his first playdate on Tuesday. Wasn't much of a playdate though cuz while one was awake, the other would be sleeping. Introducing... Noah and Christian - the 2 cutest little baby boys who are going to be best friends for life and have many humiliating yet cute stories to tell thanks to their crazy moms - from photos of them dressed up as twins to even more incriminating photos of them taking bubble baths together. Ha! Can't wait!~

(Not the best picture but it'll have to do until the next playdate.) Noah is 5 weeks and Christian is 8 weeks old.

Christian got his first series of immunization shots today. He did really well during the shots, didn't cry too much (I cried though. It was so painful to watch). But after a few hours of sleeping, he began wailing uncontrollably. We finally calmed him down and now, I'm just sitting here, at 1 am, waiting for him to wake up again and start wailing. It's the most heart wrenching sound for a mother to hear her baby shrieking like that from pain. And to think that he has to get the same shots again in another 8 weeks. I'm delirious - I'm afraid to fall asleep in case he needs me but I'm equally afraid of how I'm going to survive tomorrow. It's supposed to last 48 hours. Only 40 hours more to go. Aigo...

Just some random pics of our cutie patootie ~~

Christian and Daddy playing at The Grove~

Posing for mommie in his little Ralph Lauren outfit~~

Drowsy from his immunization shots today~~

Monday, June 19, 2006

7 weeks old today

Some recent pics of my cutie pie~~

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Breastfeeding is kicking my ass...

When I found out I was pregnant with Christian, I just naturally assumed I was going to breastfeed. So during my pregnancy, it didn't occur to me to do research on breastfeeding or join any classes. I thought it'd be pretty easy to do since it's the way God intended us to feed our babies. How hard could it be? Just get the kid to latch onto your boob, hold them there for awhile and when they're done, burp them and put them back in their crib, right? Wrong. I wish someone had warned me that it was going to be hard...really really hard. Who knows, maybe it's just me. Maybe it's not in my personality to sacrifice my body, mind, patience, time, emotions to feed my kid when I know there's cans and cans of formula sitting in my kitchen calling my name. I think some women are really good at this kind of motherly nurturing stuff and some women, like me, who aren't wired that way, suffer tremendously and have a difficult time with what seems like such a simple easy and natural thing to do.

First off, unlike most babies who nurse every 2 to 4 hours, Christian wants to nurse ALL the flippin time. Every hour, sometimes every half hour. So let's say I nurse him at 1:00 for 20 minutes. We finish at 1:20. Then he'll start crying at 2:00 for more. And I'll have to nurse him again for another 20 minutes when I had just finished nursing him 40 minutes ago. This pattern can go on all day and all night. Needless to say, he's gaining weight like a champ and he's getting rolls in places I never knew you could. I'm all for him having a healthy appetite but I can't sleep when I want, I can't eat when I want, I can't shit when I want, I can't even take a shower when I want.

The other day, I was in the shower and I heard Christian crying. I thought to myself, maybe I'll just try to finish my shower and he can wait it out. Then he started wailing. So I had to rinse off my deep conditioning hair treatment before the recommended leave-in time of 5 to 10 minutes to nurse him. But he would nurse for about 3 minutes and then when I would put him down, he'd start crying again so I'd have to nurse him some more and then tried to put him down but he'd start crying again. This went on for almost an hour and a half. He finally fell asleep and by the time I went back to finish my shower, my hair was practically dry.

And the pain...holy shit, the pain. Since I didn't do anything to prepare myself for breastfeeding, I started off on the wrong foot and never learned how to latch Christian on the proper way. He was suffering from "nipple confusion" because I gave him formula with a bottle the first few days when he was born because my milk wasn't coming in. I didn't know at the time that you shouldn't give a newborn a bottle when he's learning how to breastfeed because they can get confused on how to suck. So anyways, he's practically sucked off the pigment on the tips of my nipples. They're raw and everytime he sucks, it feels like someone is getting a needle and scratching my nipple over and over again. I was so desperate for help...I went to a La Leche League meeting. For some strange reason, we (Ben, Christian and I) were the only ones who attended that night so I ended up getting a nice one on one with the League Leaders. They encouraged me, gave me some tips and just showed support. It brought tears to my eyes and they made me feel like I wasn't alone. I also met with a Lactation Consultant and did a private one on one. She showed me how to correctly latch him on, what to do to ease my sore nipples and also gave me alot of encouragement. So now, I'm trying to teach him to latch on correctly but he's already so used to his ways, he fights with me and he starts crying and sometimes I cry with him.

Then 2 nights ago, I experienced my first plugged milk duct on my left boob. It was horrible. A portion of the boob was rock hard and painful. They say to feed as often as you can with the boob that's plugged to help unplug it. But my left nipple was sooooo raw, I couldn't bear the pain when Christian would start sucking. But then the pain of the plugged duct hurt just as bad. I was so miserable. Starting from 11:30 at night I was trying to feed Christian. I'd nurse him for as long as I could stand it, which was only about 2 minutes and then put him down but since he was hardly getting any milk, he'd want to nurse again...and again...and again. We continued this little game until about 2:30 in the morning. Finally, after hours of sucking on and off, heat compresses and massaging the hardened mass, and lots of praying, the duct unplugged. As I heard Christian gulping away, I felt my boob soften, and I started to cry and thanked God because I was so relieved. We were able to sleep for 2 hours until Christian started crying again at 4:30 am for more food.

But even with all this pain and suffering, I'm determined to continue breastfeeding. Everyday, I struggle and contemplate whether or not I should just put him on formula instead. It would definitely ease my boob pains...but what's a little, er, I mean, a shitload of unbearable pain and suffering when I know my kid will reap the lifelong benefits of breastmilk.

Last night, I was feeding Christian and we were fortunate enough to capture this moment...

Yep, that's Christian - giving me the finger.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Baby Gear

To be a parent in this day and age is a blessing. There are so many neat baby products being offered nowadays - and discovering them is half the fun!~ I ordered these last week after I got peed on multiple times trying to change Christian's diapers.

Pee-Pee TeePees For The Sprinkling Wee-Wee

They're made of 100% cotton so they're washable and reusable. You just place one of these cute little teepees on the wee-wee and you're good to go. It saved me from getting sprinkled on the other day and they come in a bunch of cute little patterns. I ordered an airplane pattern and a fire engine pattern. They even have ones that look like little red santa hats. Too cute.

I'm still undecided on what diaper bag I want to get - but when I saw this bag, I knew I had to get it for Ben.
The Jack Spade Dad Field Bag - comes complete with a matching diaper changing pad, pockets for baby bottles and even a little zipper section to hold an ipod and a little hole for the ipod earphones to come through so Ben can listen to music while he's toting little Christian around. ^_^ We just received it yesterday and I've filled it with all the essentials - extra change of baby clothes, diapers, wipes, burp cloths, receiving blanket, etc.

And I ordered 2 sets of these so Ben and I can each carry a set. Diaper Bag Organizer Pouches - comes in 4 pouches - Clean, Dirty, Goodies to eat and miscellaneous Extras - made of cotton and a mesh back for ventilation and easy visibility.

The stroller we want isn't going to be available until sometime in July. I've been harrassing the company to please let me have first dibs on the stroller and asked if they could just send one to me in advance - but no such luck. =(

Introducing the Orbit Baby Infant System - it's a car seat and a stroller in one. We were gonna get the Bugaboo Cameleon in the Orange and Tan but I saw too many ppl with it. Boo to Bugaboo and Yay to Orbit!~

Friday, May 12, 2006

Thank You Christian

Yipee!~ Christian's umbilical cord fell off today. Now he can get a real bath.

My mother-in-law has been coming over the past couple of days to make food for me and watch Christian so I can rest and it has helped me so much. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I've been getting the "baby blues"- especially at night when I'm home alone with the baby and it's quiet and dark. Having her around has made me feel so much stronger. Tonight, Ben's whole family came over to eat with me. I hadn't taken a shower in 2 days so when they all came, knowing that Christian wound be tended to if he started crying, I went and took a long, hot shower to unwind. It's funny how you get some of your deepest thoughts in the bathroom -when you're on the toilet or brushing your teeth or taking a shower. I just started to cry...but they weren't tears of sadness but relief and gratitude. I'm so thankful to God for all the wonderful blessings in my life. Sometimes, I'm too busy looking at things I don't have rather than the things that I do. In that moment, while I was in the shower, I was able to see my blessings - my health, my wonderful, loving, hard-working and supportive husband, my healthy, precious bundle of joy, my adorable doggie, our wonderful home, the sweetest in-laws a girl can have (even though i complain sometimes- i really shouldn't), my hard-working supportive parents, my siblings, my awesome, caring & loving friends, and even our struggling restaurant.

Having gone through a somewhat humble childhood, I grew up wanting the "finer things in life" - designer shoes, clothes and purses galore, vacation homes in every part of the world, nannies to raise my kids while we travelled and shopped, and fine dining every night - heck, even a personal world renowned chef to cook for us on a whim if we so desired. (yeah, i've been watching way too much "Fabulous Life Of" on E!) But God is beginning to reveal that there is much more to life than what I thought would make me happy. Seeing Christian giggle or let our a big burp has turned to be such a joy for me - or even being able to sleep more than 1 hour at a time. I'd trade all of my designer duds to be able to sleep for 10 hours straight through without any guilt. It's funny how a baby turns your whole world upside down. I used to carry a large makeup bag full of different shades of lipglosses in my LV tote. Now, I've got a large ziploc bag in there with diapers, wipes, receiving blanket and change of baby clothes. In the pocket where I used to put my cell phone, I carry diaper coupons. And I'm finding out that it's all worth it.

I love you Christian. Thank you for changing my life.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Goodbye Xanga, Hello Blogger

I've finally decided to migrate over to a new blog. Xanga was a little too "social" and I wanted a place where I can just dump my thoughts and not be in a circle of xangans writing about their drunken weekend of partying. I guess b/c that part of my life is over now. So... Goodbye Xanga and Hello Blogger!~

It's been 10 days since I've given birth to my adorable baby boy. Labor was the most physically intense and challenging feat I have ever experienced. 19+ hours of excruciating pain - even with the 7 epidural shots, the pain killer injected in my IV that made me hallucinate, and the narcotics / spinal block that was shot in 4 or 5 different areas up and down my spine. Nothing seemed to stop the pain. It was absolutely horrible. Finally, after 3 hours of pushing my brains out, they said the baby's heart beat was rising too fast and that they had to do a vacuum extraction. Geesh, I wish they just did the extraction to begin with - and out came our baby.

Before I went into labor, I had secret fears that I might be grossed out when I saw my baby come out of me - all bloody and yucky and that I might not "bond" with him. Well, I was right. Not b/c he was all bloody and yucky...but b/c I was soooooo tired. I don't think I even held him. Ben held him, told me how proud he was of me, kissed me on my forehead and even cried a little. It was beautiful to see Ben look so proudly at his new son. I, on the other hand was too tired to do anything and asked Ben to ask that they bring the baby to me when they were finished cleaning him up and that I wanted him only for feedings because I wanted to get some sleep. He was born at 9:56 pm and they brought him to me at 3am for feeding. This was the first time I got to look at him up close and as he latched on to my breast and I looked down at his face, I gasped in awe...and I fell in love. I looked at his face, his feet, his hair, his ears and I began seeing parts of me and Ben in him and it was amazing. Wow, this little thing came out of me? Ben and I created this thing? I thanked God. Even though I was dead tired, in excruciating pain and even needed assistance to go to the bathroom, I changed my mind about taking him only for feedings so I told the nurse I had decided he was going to room in with me. Here are some pictures of our baby boy, Christian.

He's such a cutie pie!~ ^_^